i t ‘ s
o n l y
t h r o u g h
c a r e f u l
s t u d y
a n d
d i s c i p l i n e
a n d
i n n e r
s t r e n g t h
t h a t
a w a r e n e s s
o f
t h e
s e l f
c o u l d
e v e n
a p p r o a c h
t h e
t h r e s h o l d
n e c e s s a r y
t o
r e s u l t
i n
c o o l
p o w e r s.
A N D
I T
I S
F O R
T H I S
R E A S O N
T H A T
T H E R E
A R E
A L M O S T
N O
C I S G E N D E R
W I Z A R D S.
T H E
G R E A T
W I Z A R D
F Y Z Z I C K
K N E W
F R O M
A
Y O U N G
A G E
T H A T
T H E Y
D I D
N O T
H A V E
A
G E N D E R.
AND IT’S THIS SIMPLE UNHAVING THAT HAS DEFINED THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS OF WIZARDRY. TO BE HUMAN IS TO CREATE AND THUS TO UNHAVE IS TO CREATE AGAIN.
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
EVERYTHING IS CREATED
I TYPED EVERY ONE OF THOSE.
ONE UNDERSTANDING OF GENDER IS AS BEING SIMILAR TO THE FEELING OF USING THE PHRASE “IT’S LIKE SQUARES AND RECTANGLES” AND REFERRING TO THAT LIKE CATEGORY THING WHERE ALL OF SOMETHING IS SOMETHING BUT NOT ALL OF SOMETHING IS SOMETHING. YEAH ONE WEIRDLY ACCURATE MODEL OF GENDER IS THAT IT IS THE FEELING OF BRINGING UP THE SQUARES AND RECTANGLES THING.
THE FEELING OF RECOGNIZING A PATTERN IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE AND CONNECTING IT TO A MUCH SIMPLER CATEGORICAL PROBLEM YOU LEARNED WHEN YOU WERE VERY YOUNG. THAT THOUGHT JUMP SEQUENCE IS WHAT GENDER IS BEST DESCRIBED AS, ACCORDING TO EVERY WIZARD I KNOW.
She went to the ocean the other day to see the stars reflection off the water but it was cloudier than she expected so she sat on the beach and breathed in the chilly ocean breeze. She disconnected from the headset and pressed the button on the elevator that would take her to the 1000th floor. It took like twenty minutes it’s always really annoying.
And with the ding of the elevator door opening she discovered herself floating into the set of the limited run TV series “Lilly and Funny Bobbo” that satirized the character from ancient Glennian theater. Add that all the sixteen and you get out the other side to find an enormous crystal ball that she’d seen once at a Spencer’s Gifts in 2012 and almost bought but was worried her boyfriend would think it was weird.
She looked north of the last two paragraphs and descended into the crystal mine. Four hundred twinkling fairies tapped away at the purple crystalline walls. When she got the bottom she broke off a piece of crystal and handed it to a fairy who said:
“oh seriously thank you so much I was so worried I wasn’t going to meet quota. We’ve gotta have all these crystal’s outta here by the fifth so I’ve been really on edge lately and this is just the break I need. Sorry what was that?”
“oh?”
“uhuh.”
“I don’t know…”
“Quit pressuring me! I get it!”
“alright.”
“I love you too.” she said to her girlfriend because she dated MANY GENDERS of which WOMEN WERE ONE. Ada sighed and looked back at her.
“I’m not your girlfriend,” she said. She squinted.
“What was that?” she said. Ada looked confused.
“Why are you not mentioning yourself?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” she replied.
“Like in the narration,” said Ada, looking towards you.
“Oh, them?” she said, pointing towards you.
“Yeah, why aren’t you saying your name?” asked Ada, looking back at her.
“I didn’t wanna give my identity away on the internet,” she said. Ada laughed at that and looked up at the browser window with judgment.
The next morning Ada woke up in her apartment where she woke her up with breakfast in bed made up exactly how you’d want someone to. Ada’s initially a bit taken aback by the forwardness of the gesture, having only spent one night together, but ultimately accepted it as a positive development and indication of her character.
“Well I’ll be the judge of that,” said Ada, eating her eggs. She walked across the room and leaned against the window, looking at the buildings across the street. Ada watched her move with interest. “Do you think we should talk about where we are exactly?” asked Ada and she sighed.
“I hate when people say it like that it’s like immediate putting the onus on me to go first with feelings and I hate going first,” she said. Ada rolled her eyes.
“Everyone hates going first,” said Ada. She hated when Ada pointed out things like that. “And starting things out with what you hate about me is not exactly the strongest choice,” added Ada. She clenched her jaw and walked back to her bed.
“I’m sorry. I sometimes jump to negatives when I’m frustrated by a social cue,” she said. “I get pretty high stress talking about these kinds of things,”
“Yeah and it’s important you recognize that’s not exactly a reason to not do it, nor an excuse to snap at me,” said Ada. She nodded and closed her eyes.
“I want to be dating you, I guess. And my gut reaction to that is to panic. I panic a lot. But I won’t snap at you.”
“Starting now?”
“Well like yeah,”
“No snapping? Being snippy? Never gonna be angry?” asked Ada, moving her breakfast to sit on the bed next to her.
“No I’m gonna be angry sometimes,” she said. Ada laughed.
“Well good.”
“I just won’t snap at you I’m learning how to handle things like this better,” she said.
“You know, Iris, I think~” said Ada, putting her arm around her back.
“Don’t say my name,” she said.
“Right, sorry,” said Ada, looking at you and back at her. “I think you’re really worried about making a lot of mistakes that you haven’t made with me yet,” said Ada. She nodded. “And if you’re constantly acting like you have it makes me feel certain you will again,” she sighed.
Ada stood up, grabbing her hands.
“I’m a new person! I’m not in your head! I’m not your exes! I’m your friend Ada that you just had sex with and that wants to try dating you and taking things slow,” said Ada, looking at her with what seemed to her to be an irrational amount of trust. And then she thought about that and realized that thought itself was exactly the thing she was just talking about.
“I…” she started.
“Yeah you got it,” said Ada, laughing. “That is exactly it!”
“Why were they really there though?” asked Ada, looking at you again. “I mean, no offense,” she said to you right now. “That moment wouldn’t have been the same without them, but it was a bit strange.” said Ada, looking back at her. She laughed.
“I don’t know I think I just have always been interested in how growth happens and I knew that you were going to be someone I learned from,” she said. Ada nodded and sipped her coffee. Vampire Weekend played overhead. The coffeeshop moved lightly around them.
“Nah, I read it,” said Ada. “You’re interested in arguing,”
“Arguing?” she said. Ada nodded.
“You actually love to argue,”
“I hate to argue!”
“No!” insisted Ada, raising her voice over the sound of other customers. “You hate being yelled at and you hate when I’m mad at you but you certainly don’t hate arguing,” said Ada smugly.
“Define arguing,” she said. Ada sat up straight and raised her hands to indicate her beginning the lesson.
“I think arguing is about passionate defending of a point you agree with you,” said Ada. “You hate arguing for the sake of arguing, you love arguing for the sake of defending beliefs. You’re practically Ben Shapiro in how much you love defending beliefs,”
“I’M GOING TO PRETEND IT WASN’T EXTREMELY TRANSPHOBIC FOR YOU TO HAVE SAID THAT,” she said, laughing.
“WELL I’VE GOT NEW TO YOU ABOUT MY GENDER IRI~”
“dude I’m serious please don’t say my name on the website,” she said.
“I just feel like it’s making this whole thing a little bit unclear there has to be a better way you could be writing this,” said Ada.
“No this is pretty much exactly what I wanted to write.”
“You ‘wizard-is-never-lating’ this?” asked Ada. She snorted.
“I’ve missed how you do that to literally everything,” she said. Ada laughed.
“What?!” asked Ada.
“You always figure out a way to fit what I’m doing into that style of sentence. The “you blanking this?” sentence,” she said. Ada laughed.
“And you always find patterns of behavior my therapist hasn’t picked up on,” quipped Ada.
“So are you saying I’m analytical? Would you say I’m analytical?” she asked.
“Y-yeah!” said Ada.
“I’m a 2,000 year old master wizard that can do backflips in the fourth dimension and you’re saying you think I’m ‘analytical’,”